I've been trying to make a feature for years. Literally one third of my life up until this point, I have been desperately trying to make this a reality. A few friends and I had made shorts before, and hell, our 20 minute movie only took a week. So this was just like doing 4 of those, right? No problem!
From my B grade black and white zombie film to the local election campaign mockumentary, all attempts had failed at the same point: financing.
Apparently I am the single worst fundraiser in the history of film making. Producers have many jobs, but really the single most important thing they do is get money for the project. Even if they spend the rest of their time at donkey shows and beating up grade school children, if they can raise and distribute enough money to the rest of the production team, everything should work out fine.
Realizing this, I crawled into a dark hole in my self conscience. Was I an idiot for pursuing something that I was so recklessly bad at? Probably. But was I enough of an idiot to try anyway? That was what I had to figure out.
I took a look at my finances. I'd been saving for years with the ultimate goal of owning a home. It always seemed like a good investment, home prices in Southern California have a tendency to appreciate in value (even with the recent deflation of prices, the long term return is still amazing), plus they have the added bonus of ensuring that the owner is never homeless.
From somewhere outside of this dark hole came a voice. It asked a single question: "would you rather be a home owner or a film maker?" The answer to that question was easy.
Clearly, it was time to be an idiot.
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